Deep Fried Eagle

I love it when I get random IM’s. Scammers, Foreign People (or foreign scammers) and Bots make for a good time. ENJOY!

petylove: Hello there

Stylus: hi

petylove: How are you doing?

Stylus: I just lost a pint of blood and now I’m a bit contemplative.

petylove: So how was it now?

BUZZ!!!

Stylus: It WAS fine, but the afterwards part isn’t so fine. Wait..you mean NOW? Or THEN? Before the bloodletting, or after? I’m a bit confused. Come to think of it…I dare say that I do feel a bit lightheaded.

petylove: Ok

petylove: So what is your pretty name?

Stylus: My pretty name is Lady Juggs-a-plenty, but I don’t use it so much anymore now that I have Jesus Christ in my life. Now I just go by my Cornish name Chester Throttlebottom.

petylove: Am pety

petylove: from ELM TOTTOOS dallas

petylove: where are you from?

BUZZ!!!

Stylus: I, too am from a city named after a weird amalgamation of Elm Street Tattoos in Dallas. What a coincidence!

Stylus: We should TOTALLY talk about girls and God!

petylove: About relationship?

Stylus: More specifically, our relationship

Stylus: …with the Lord & Savior Jesus H Christ

Stylus: The H stands for Hugo. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. I only know it because I love the lord.

Stylus: But I could learn to love you.

Stylus: Pety? You seem a bit shy.

petylove: NO

Stylus: Let’s get you more confidence. I will give you a compliment to start things right: You are a very funny bot or foreign person. I am enjoying this time we are sharing.

Stylus: There you go. I didn’t lie.

petylove: Am with you

Stylus: What would you like to talk about?

petylove: Well are you single?

Stylus: Do you mean do I have one head?

petylove: No i mean do you have a wife to take care of you?

Stylus: Oh yes. She’s wonderful.

Stylus: That’s a mighty personal question. Do you agree?

petylove: AGREE for what?

Stylus: That I am disrespectful to dirt? You know, like Mr. Sparkle!

Stylus: I banish dirt to the land of wind and ghosts.

petylove: So???

Stylus: I thought you would want to know that, since you’re so fucking nosy.

Stylus: LOL. We’re having fun. What else would you like to know?

petylove: So anwser the Qustion first

petylove: ok

petylove: Do you have any woman with you?

Stylus: I already told you that my wife is wonderful. Now you are asking me if she is a woman? That is VERY personal. Plus, the State of Texas does not recognize the union between a man and an inanimate object of his choosing.

Stylus: Do you have any woman with you?

petylove: no

Stylus: Simple enough.

BUZZ!!!

Stylus: OK, so the question was “what are you really looking for in chatting?” Good question. I am looking for some excitement in chatting. Some entertainment. I enjoy when a bot or foreign person writes to me out of nowhere. That way I can type endless non-sequiturs.

petylove: what do you do for work?

Stylus: I throw non-toasted sandwiches at elderly men in the park. It’s quite gratifying.

Stylus: Especially when they come with Sunchips!

petylove: presently am in west africa to buy some of the Goods now but i will be back to state in 5days now

Stylus: Back to where you live in ELM TOTTOOS dallas?

petylove: No am still on the trip

Stylus: What goods are you buying in West Africa?

Stylus: Not slaves, I hope! That would be awkward!

petylove: Like jewelery bond of Gold and siliver

Stylus: Will you smuggle the precious, unrefined stones in your body cavities?

petylove: uh

Stylus: Just don’t get caught. I just met you. I would be upset if you were detained.

petylove: Detained what?

Stylus: Nevermind.

Stylus: So tell me something very interesting.

petylove: like what?

Stylus: Anything you like

Stylus: I need a good straight man, here! Set me up!

petylove: See am sad now

Stylus: Why are you sad?

petylove: Well..i need a favor from you

Stylus: OK

Stylus: I’ll bite

petylove: Well..i have done with what i come here for….and i need some little money to take them to state

Stylus: TELL ME!

Stylus: You want money? I have a lot of money.

Stylus: How much do you need?

petylove: Well..it just only $250 i will refund you back when i get to you in state in double

Stylus: That’s ok. How can I send it to you?

petylove: Are you sure you are going to help me for that?

Stylus: YES

petylove: when is that?

Stylus: How do I give you the money?


…and then she/he/it was gone. Just when I was getting warmed up.