Deep Fried Eagle

Hi everyone. Some of you may remember the AWESOME time I had playing with a craigslist scam artist two summers ago. Take a look at the post to jog your memory. Trust me, it’s a great read!. Since then, I have never written anything back to these guys. It takes so much time and energy, and I knew I could never top that one sweet time when I really poured myself into it.

I put our video camera on Craigslist to help pay for the plane tickets for Chicago. In the past, I usually post anonymously so no one sees my e-mail address. The problem with that is someone will write me, and then I never hear from them again after I answer them. Must be something with the way they encrypt e-mails, I dunno. last night I decided to just put my e-mail address on teh listing. When I got to work, I had 7 e-mails about the camera. I’m thinking “Cool! Maybe I’ll sell this thing, and we’ll have some cash!”. Yeah…WRONG. All of them asked basically the same thing; “Do you still have item for sale? What the total?” Everyone knows that when you’re doing a business transaction, it’s smart to do it with people that speak/type Pidgin English.

Anyway, so my yahoo e-mail address is on this ad, and usually someones IM handle on Yahoo is the part of their e-mail address before the @yahoo.com part, as is mine. About an hour ago, I got this IM from someone I didn’t know asking me how I was doing. Assuming it was a bot, I started with “who are you?”. This usually established whether you’re being written by a Bot, or a real person. This was a real person, alright. I quickly realized the Craigslist scammers have stepped up their game, now they IM people. Unfortunately, they have’t stepped up their grammar or syntax. Enjoy.

gardonf: am dennis

gardonf: from denver

gardonf: i saw your item listed at craigslist

Stylus: Why would a person from Denver be answering ads from Dallas?

gardonf: it dost not mean i just like to buy your item with PayPal Payment

gardonf: ?

BUZZ!!!

Stylus: I’m sorry. I was just stepping out of the shower and was naked. I cannot do business with a serious businessman such as yourself whilst dangling hither and yon, now can I…or CAN I? Hmmm…..I do not think I will do business with you. You seem to enjoy the fact that I was stark naked and attempting to sell a video camera, which I assure you has been erased so you will not get the pleasure of images of my nude body.

gardonf: hello seller you dont need to say cos i will paid for your item not free

Stylus: My item? Wait, which item would you like to buy? I have several.

gardonf: ok!

gardonf: ?

Stylus: Describe the item you so desperately want me to sell you.

gardonf: your item listed at craigslist

Stylus: WHAT item?

gardonf: ?

Stylus: You don’t know what you want to buy from me?

gardonf: ok

gardonf: ?

gardonf: wait for a minute

(I assume he went to look the ad up now, so I immediately throw something at him to see if he’d bite. He didn’t disappoint!)

Stylus: You want to buy the set of gently used and mildly soiled black dildos for $300, correct?

gardonf: yes

Stylus: Or were you looking for the vintage goat porn collection for $200?

no answer

Stylus: Just the dildos, then? No problem. Would you like them cleansed before shipping, or do you appreciate the aroma of them sealed tightly in packaging for months?

BUZZ!!!

gardonf: ok!

gardonf: tell me the total cost

BUZZ!!!

Stylus: The total cost is $5000, plus a picture of your mother.

gardonf: ok

gardonf: is ok

gardonf: give me your PayPal e-mail address

gardonf: now so that i can Proceed to Payment

Stylus: Why, certainly. Its fah-q@uwish.com

Stylus: I will be expecting that money very soon

Gardonf has logged off